New Hijabs

I posted recently about my struggle with hijab recently, and after going through my collection of scarves, I decided to buy some new ones, I wanted some new colors and wanted something larger to cover the chest better. I also wanted some solid colors, something I was lacking.

For a long time I was wearing the Turkish style square scarves. I love them, they’re beautiful, come in pretty much every color you could ever want and so many different designs, but I always disliked how small they are. Hijab is not just a scarf to add to our outfit, and there are conditions that are to be met and I felt I personally wasn’t meeting those conditions with this style. I tried to wear it to cover my chest as much as possible, but I always felt they were lacking.

So I decided that I needed some new hijabs and went looking. One place I knew was Al-Mujalbaba, I’m glad they’re still online selling, they’ve been around a long time, it’s one of the first places I knew of when I converted to buy hijabs from.

They have several different sizes of hijabs in georgette and pebble georgette and they come in a wide range of colors, some even have matching niqabs. I got a 60″ and a 50″ square and the rest 44″ squares.

These are the ones I got:

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I also find these ones are more breathable than the Turkish ones, which definitely help during summer. I’m very sensitive to the heat and it seems to be getting worse as I get older…so now I’m on the search for underscarves that are summer friendly. I always wear the tube/amira style ones, and they’re just too thick for me for summer anymore.

Venomoth Cake

I love Pokemon, and play Pokemon Go all the time, so when I heard we were having guests over, I had to make a Pokemon themed dessert.

I used a Wilton 3D butterfly cake pan to make this, and a black velvet cake recipe from my Sweetapolita Bake Book. It’s delicious, I’ve never had black velvet cake before, which is just red velvet with black gel dye, but I love it and love the deep, dark black color.

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It doesn’t look exactly like venomoth, but I think it’s pretty close. I had a few cupcakes which I made from leftover batter, and iced them to look like pokeballs. This is my first time decorating a cake like this, but I’m pretty happy with how it came out, there’s definitely room for improvement though.

I also didn’t frost the sides and background of the venomoth, because honestly, I don’t like massive amounts of frosting on my cake, I think it’s gross, and the stars are pretty small and not tall, so there’s not a ton of frosting from that either.

Struggling with Hijab, with Life

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The last two or three years I’ve really struggled with hijab, I’ve struggled with wearing it, with going out in it, with how I want to wear it, wearing it properly, worrying about what my friends will think, my family, pretty much everything. With everything going on, in the world and here with the elections, and with the loss of close family members very close together, it’s been extremely difficult. And not only with hijab, but with everything. There have been days I haven’t been able to do a thing, all I’ve wanted to do is just stay in bed and not get out. I know I’m depressed, and I’m working through that, it’s not easy.

I know what the rules of hijab are, I know it’s more than just wearing a scarf with long sleeves and jeans. It’s so much more than a scarf. And I think I lost that somewhere along the way, and I’m trying to get back to wearing hijab with the right intention, and the right way and it be more than just a scarf I put on. It became just a habit somehow, and it’s meaning was lost to me somewhere.

As I write this, I realize that it has a lot to do with iman as well, if your iman is very low, and you’re struggling to do the basics on a daily basis, struggling just to get out of bed and do the bare minimum, the other things aren’t going to come easily either and will seem like a burden.

I get no support from my side of the family, all I have is my husband and kids, I rarely see my Muslim friends, and when I do, it’s in a big setting and you can’t really have personal conversations like that. My in laws live overseas, and I don’t speak Turkish so I can’t even talk to them. So I feel like I’m on my own a lot, and I feel so lonely, it can be so hard at times. Especially when you feel like your entire world has fallen apart around you.

I’ve stopped wearing a hoodie and sweats when I go out, it makes me feel so sloppy, I used to really take care with my appearance and in the last few years have really let it go, and it’s helped to dress nicely again. I don’t want to be one of the pajama people. I’m also thinking of deleting my tumblr and another blog, they’re not helping me to be a better Muslimah or person, at all. So why spend time on them, right? I need to take care of myself in all aspects. How can I be a good mother when I feel so awful? I can’t.

I’ve been feeling better the last week or so, finally, alhumdulilah, and I feel like I’m finally able to start picking up the pieces and putting them back together, and I hope they’ll go together stronger than before, inshallah. I know I won’t be the same person I was a few years ago, not even the same person I was one year ago, and that’s ok. For good or bad, the trials we face in life shape us, reshape us and we wouldn’t be who we are today without having gone through those things.

April Empties

I have a problem with sample sized beauty products, and normal sized ones I buy, they’ve kind of taken over my bathroom. For some reason, I would save them and never use them, but a while ago I decided I really needed to use them or just throw them away. So rather than see them go to waste, I decided I was going to use those things!

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I didn’t use too many last month, but really you can only use so many things right?

My favorites were:
Mongo Kiss chapstick, I love this stuff, it’s amazing and doesn’t cost much at all, and the Sephora eye mask, I put it in the fridge for a few minutes before using it after being out in the garden in the sun. It was really refreshing and relaxing. It’s also really squishy and feels neat.

The other items I used were:
Caudalie Face Lifting Soft Cream, I thought this was kind of drying.
Origins Original Skin Retexturizing mask with rose clay, this was pretty nice and left my face soft after using it.
Daisy Dream by Marc Jacobs, the scent wasn’t too strong and was nice.
The Estee Elit Pink peony water pack, I didn’t think this was very moisturizing, I prefer my usual moisturizer over this one.

And now I get to throw these empty packages away and save up for the next post! Hope you enjoyed!

My First Pusheen Box

Who doesn’t love Pusheen? I had heard of the Pusheen Box a while ago but didn’t sign up for it until a couple of months ago. This month it was delayed, but that’s ok, it finally got here today!

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This adorable box was sitting on the porch waiting for me, aww…so cute, I’ll be saving it!

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So many cute Pusheen goodies!! The shirt is super huge for a medium, I think I might go down to a small, but it will work for sleeping in and lounging about it. I am all about comfort these days anyways. And the plastic silverware, sooo cute! And yes, that’s a lunch box! I see a picnic in the future…

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Lots of stuff in that box, balloons, bunting banner, selfie stick, photo props, a cute vinyl figure, wireless speaker, lunch box, plastic silverware, and the shirt. I’m pretty happy with the first box, it does feel like you get your money’s worth. I sometimes would feel like I didn’t with other subscription boxes.

A Year

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I’ve posted here, I really didn’t mean to leave it for so long. But so much has happened in my life, actually the last two years have been very difficult. I’ve lost two close family members within less than a year of each other, and everything has just been very difficult.

I’m still here though and will try to post more often, though I really don’t know what the topics will be. I learned to knit, so maybe that, and of course I cook a lot, and read a lot as well. My iman has suffered over the last couple of years but recently I’ve been reading more Quran and studying Islam, which I haven’t done in a long time. Inshallah there will be a variety of topics, I’m not quite sure what I want this blog to be about yet, but those topics seem to be a good start.

Book Review – The Whole Coconut Cookbook

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I like coconut, and like to use it in many recipes, so I was excited to receive this book. It has lots of information on different coconut products, such as coconut milk, cream, flour, sugar. Coconut sugar is my favorite sugar substitute because it’s natural and it adds a subtle flavor to baked goods, plus it has nutrients that other sugars and sugar substitutes don’t.

The recipes all look so fresh, delicious and healthy! There’s even a drink section, which I think is great, and I can’t wait to try the spiced hot chocolate with orange vanilla whipped cream! And the whipped cream is made from coconut milk, of course, and so it’s dairy free which is important to me because I have a child with milk allergy. There’s salads, main dishes, breakfast, desserts, snacks, this book has lots of recipes. And they’re not just re-makes of the same old thing replacing the dairy with coconut. No, these are new dishes, and that’s refreshing to me.

I only wish there was a picture for more of the recipes, that’s always my main complaint with cookbooks, that there aren’t enough pictures. I want to know what I’m making and I want to see how it’s supposed to look. The pictures they do have are very nice though, and make me want to try all the recipes!

 

*Disclaimer: I was sent this book in exchange for a review from Blogging for Books.